There’s a moment that sneaks up on so many of us — often in the middle of a busy season, an ordinary day, or a late-night scroll through old photos — when we suddenly realize: I don’t even know who I am anymore.

Somewhere between the meetings, carpool lines, laundry piles, and the endless to-do lists, the woman we once were — curious, passionate, playful, creative — got quietly placed on hold. Maybe we didn’t mean to lose touch with her. Maybe we thought it was temporary. But years later, it can feel like she’s a stranger.

I know that feeling all too well.

When “Happy” Felt Like a Foreign Language

There was a season in my life when I hit a low point. On paper, everything looked fine — even good. I had a successful career, a loving family, a busy life. But inside, I felt flat. I kept saying I just wanted to be “happy,” but if I’m honest, I didn’t even know what that meant anymore.

I couldn’t remember the last time I did something purely for myself, not because it was productive or necessary, but because it lit me up. I didn’t know what I enjoyed outside of my roles as mom, wife, and professional.

The truth was, I had spent so many years tending to everyone else’s needs that my own had become a mystery. And yet, under the surface, something in me was whispering: It’s time to come home.

The Hardest Step: Making Space

At first, I thought I could “fix” it with a new planner, a self-help book, or another productivity system. But the deeper I looked, the more I realized — I didn’t need another system. I needed space.

Space to breathe.
Space to hear myself think.
Space to ask: What do I actually want?

It sounds simple, but it was terrifying. Because making space for myself meant setting boundaries. Saying no to things that had always defined me — being the dependable one, the one who could do it all, the one who never dropped the ball.

For so long, I’d equated my worth with being everything to everyone. But when I finally allowed myself to step back — to carve out quiet moments, to go for walks without my phone, to sit with a journal instead of my laptop — something started to shift.

Community, Coaching, and Coming Back to Life

The turning point came when I found myself surrounded by other women who were asking the same questions I was. Through life coaching — both as a client and later as a coach — I discovered a community of women who were done living on autopilot.

We were all craving something more: not more stuff, not more success, but more connection. More meaning. More us.

It was in those conversations — raw, real, and sometimes tearful — that I started to remember parts of myself I had forgotten. The woman who loved to write. The one who used to dance in the kitchen. The one who could lose herself in a good book or a deep conversation.

Each time I honored one of those small desires, I reconnected with a piece of the woman I used to be — and the woman I wanted to become.

Why We Put Ourselves on Hold

So many of us, especially working moms, put ourselves on hold for what we believe are good reasons. We tell ourselves we’ll get back to us when things slow down. When the kids are older. When work is less demanding. When life feels more manageable.

But here’s the truth — that “someday” never magically appears. Life will always be full. The to-do list will always refill itself.

If we wait for the perfect moment to start paying attention to ourselves again, we’ll be waiting forever.

What if instead, we decided to reclaim ourselves right in the middle of the chaos? Not by overhauling our lives overnight, but by taking small, intentional steps back toward the things that make us feel alive.

Small Ways to Reconnect With the You That’s Been on Hold

If you’re feeling disconnected from yourself, start small. Here are a few gentle ways to begin:

1. Revisit Your “Old Favorites.”
   Think back to what used to make you lose track of time. Was it painting? Baking? Running? Journaling? Try reintroducing one of those things into your week — not because you “should,” but because you can.

2. Create Moments of Stillness.
   The version of you that’s been buried under noise can’t shout over the chaos — she whispers. Create a few quiet minutes each day to just be. Whether that’s sipping coffee in silence, walking without earbuds, or sitting in your car before heading inside, let those moments be yours.

3. Ask Better Questions.
   Instead of asking “What should I do?” start asking “What do I need?” and “What do I want?” These questions may feel unfamiliar at first, but they open the door to rediscovering what truly matters to you.

4. Connect with Others Who Are Growing Too.
   Healing in isolation is hard. Surround yourself with people who are also on a journey of growth. Being part of a supportive community reminds you that you’re not alone and that your story is still unfolding.

5. Celebrate the Small Wins.
   Every time you choose you — whether that’s setting a boundary, taking a walk, or saying no to something that drains you — celebrate it. Those moments add up to big transformation.

Who You Want to Be Is Still Waiting for You

Reconnecting with yourself isn’t about going back to who you used to be. It’s about remembering who you are underneath all the noise — and giving that version of you permission to evolve.

When I look back at that low point in my life now, I see it as a turning point — the moment I stopped waiting to feel like myself again and started creating space to become myself again.

And here’s what I know for sure: You don’t have to have all the answers. You don’t even need to know exactly who you want to be. You just need to start making space for her — the version of you that’s been waiting patiently, ready to come alive again.

Because she’s still there.
She’s still strong.
And she’s ready to be seen.

If you’ve been feeling like the best parts of you are on hold, you don’t have to figure it out alone. A great place to start is with a free Boundary Clarity Call — a guided conversation to help you make space for you again. Together, we’ll get clear on what’s been holding you back and start reconnecting you to the life — and the self — you’re craving.

Book your Boundary Clarity Call today.