If you’re a working mom, chances are high that your calendar isn’t the only thing that’s full—your mind is, too.

You’re tracking work deadlines, kid schedules, groceries, birthday gifts, permission slips, emails you forgot to answer, texts you meant to respond to, and that weird noise the dishwasher started making last week. Oh, and did the dog get his heartworm pill?

This invisible juggling act? It’s called the mental load—and most of us are carrying way too much of it.

We’re Setting Boundaries in Our Calendars, But Not in Our Heads

When we talk about boundaries, we often think of things like saying “no,” blocking off time, or turning off notifications. And yes, those are important boundaries. But they’re only part of the picture.

The deeper, less visible part? The boundaries we set in our minds.

I’ve seen this again and again with the women I coach (and I’ve lived it myself): even when we’ve carved out time for ourselves, even when the to-do list is “under control,” we’re still mentally carrying everyone else’s needs.
Still anticipating. Still spinning. Still emotionally over-functioning.

That’s why true freedom doesn’t start with your calendar—it starts with your inner landscape.

What Mental Boundaries Actually Look Like

Mental boundaries are limits we set around our own thoughts, responsibilities, and emotional labor. Here are some examples:

• Not owning someone else’s feelings. (“She’s upset, but that doesn’t mean I’ve done something wrong.”)

• Not mentally rehearsing worst-case scenarios. (“If something goes wrong, I trust I’ll handle it then. I don’t need to live it now.”)

• Not ruminating over conversations or decisions. (“I made the best choice I could with the information I had. I can release it now.”)

• Not being everyone’s emergency contact—emotionally or logistically. (“It’s not my job to anticipate and solve everything for everyone.”)

These boundaries may be silent and invisible—but they’re powerful.

Because when you don’t have mental boundaries, you’re never truly off-duty. Your body might be home, but your brain is still on call.

The Cost of Carrying It All

What’s the toll of not having mental boundaries?

• You feel constantly scattered or drained—even after rest.

• You snap at your partner or kids, then feel guilty.

• You doubt yourself. Overthink. Lose sleep.

• You never feel truly “done,” no matter how much you accomplish.

• You stop being present in your own life because your mind is always somewhere else.

You don’t need more productivity hacks.
You need permission to stop carrying what isn’t yours.

Shifting the Load: How to Start Creating Mental Boundaries

If this is resonating, please know—you’re not alone, and it’s not your fault. Most of us were never taught how to filter, delegate, or even notice our mental load.

But that changes now.

Here’s where to begin:

1. Name It

Start by noticing when you’re carrying something that isn’t yours.
Are you worrying about how someone will feel about your decision?
Are you pre-solving a problem that hasn’t happened yet?

Just naming it as part of your mental load can be powerful. “Oh, this isn’t mine to carry.”

2. Create a Pause

Before you say yes, solve, or soothe—pause.
Ask: Is this mine to carry? Or am I taking responsibility for someone else’s experience, emotion, or outcome?

That simple pause gives you space to choose a different response.

3. Practice Internal Scripts

Try a few inner reminders to help create new boundaries in real-time:

• “They’re allowed to feel disappointed. I don’t need to fix that.”

• “I’m not in charge of how they receive my boundary—only how I deliver it.”

• “Just because I care doesn’t mean I have to carry it.”

These aren’t one-time fixes. With practice, they become your mental armor.

4. Unload—On Purpose

Give yourself time to clear mental clutter. Journal. Voice-note. Walk. Talk to someone who helps you see clearly. Make this as routine as brushing your teeth. Mental load can’t always be prevented, but it can be processed.

Your Worth Is Not in What You Carry

There’s a quiet but powerful transformation that happens when you set boundaries in your mind: you start to come home to yourself.

You feel less reactive, more grounded.
You stop fixing and start trusting.
You begin to reclaim the space that’s rightfully yours—not just in your day, but in your head and heart.

So if you’ve been setting boundaries and still feel overwhelmed…
Look inward.
You may be carrying more than you were ever meant to hold.

And you don’t have to anymore.

Want help unloading the mental weight you’ve been carrying?
Join me for a free Boundary Clarity Call. We’ll uncover what’s fueling your overwhelm and help you reclaim your time, energy, and peace of mind—starting from the inside out.