Being a mom is one of the most rewarding yet challenging roles we can take on. And for working moms, juggling family, career, and personal time often leads to a familiar, nagging companion: mom guilt. Yes, it’s real!!! Whether it’s feeling guilty for leaving your child in daycare while you work, or struggling with guilt over taking time for self-care, the pressures of motherhood can make it seem like you’re constantly falling short in some area.

Mom guilt, while common, is incredibly draining and can hinder your ability to be fully present with your family, career, and most importantly, yourself. The good news is that overcoming mom guilt isn’t about doing more; it’s about shifting your mindset. Here are five key mindset shifts that can help you break free from the guilt and embrace a healthier, more balanced approach to motherhood.

1. Redefine What it Means to Be a “Good Mom”

A major reason for mom guilt is the unrealistic standards we set for ourselves. Society, social media, and sometimes even our inner circles paint a picture of motherhood that suggests we should be able to do it all—be present for every moment, provide perfectly nutritious meals, keep a spotless house, excel in our careers, and look after ourselves, all while being perpetually patient and joyful.

It’s essential to recognize that being a good mom isn’t about perfection. It's about showing up for your kids with love, patience (when possible), and a genuine effort to do your best in any given moment. The truth is, a good mom isn’t defined by doing everything right; she’s defined by her love, her presence, and her commitment to raising healthy, well-adjusted children.

Let go of the notion that you must meet some idealized version of motherhood and embrace the idea that being a “good mom” means being human, flawed, and loving in your own unique way. This shift alone can ease much of the guilt that comes from comparing yourself to unattainable standards.

2. Understand That Self-Care Isn’t Selfish

One of the most damaging beliefs that contribute to mom guilt is the idea that prioritizing yourself means you’re neglecting your family. Many working moms feel guilty for taking time out for themselves, believing that every spare moment should be spent either with their children or handling household responsibilities. But here’s the reality: you can’t pour from an empty cup.

Taking time for self-care isn’t a luxury; it’s a necessity. When you carve out time to recharge—whether that’s through exercise, reading a book, taking a bath, or simply sitting in silence—you’re actually better equipped to be present and engaged when you’re with your family. Shifting your mindset from seeing self-care as selfish to seeing it as essential will not only reduce guilt, but also improve your overall well-being.

Remember, your family benefits from a rested, recharged, and fulfilled version of you. If you need to schedule in a yoga class or a lunch with friends, do it without guilt. You’re modeling healthy boundaries and self-care, which is a valuable lesson for your children.

3. Release Control and Embrace Help

Many moms feel a deep sense of responsibility to be the primary (and sometimes sole) caretaker of everything in the household. From packing school lunches to planning birthday parties, it can be easy to fall into the trap of thinking you have to do it all yourself in order to be a good mom. This often leads to exhaustion, burnout, and more guilt when things don’t go perfectly.

One of the most liberating mindset shifts you can make is to recognize that you don’t have to do it all. Delegating tasks—whether it’s asking your partner to handle bedtime, hiring help for cleaning, or even letting your kids take on age-appropriate chores—does not make you less of a mom. In fact, it teaches your family the importance of teamwork and cooperation. (One of the best things I ever did was teach my 10-year-old son how to do his own laundry. You’re welcome, future wife!)

Releasing control and accepting help is not a sign of weakness; it’s a sign of strength and self-awareness. Your value as a mother is not diminished by how much you do, but enhanced by how well you create a balanced, healthy environment for both yourself and your family.

4. Shift From ‘Guilt’ to ‘Gratitude’

A powerful way to overcome mom guilt is to shift your focus from what you’re not doing to what you are doing. Instead of feeling guilty about working late one night, focus on the fact that your career allows you to provide for your family, set a positive example, and pursue your personal goals. Rather than feeling bad about missing a soccer game, be grateful for the quality time you’ll spend with your child over the weekend.

Gratitude is a transformative practice that helps reframe negative thoughts. When guilt creeps in, take a moment to remind yourself of what you’re grateful for in that situation. Maybe you’re grateful for the support system you have, or for the opportunity to grow in your career, or simply for the love and joy your children bring to your life. By focusing on gratitude, you’ll find it easier to let go of guilt and embrace a more positive, empowering mindset.

5. Recognize That Balance Looks Different for Everyone

Finally, let go of the idea that there’s a universal formula for balancing work and motherhood. What works for one mom may not work for another, and that’s perfectly okay. The key to overcoming mom guilt is to recognize that balance is personal and dynamic—it changes depending on your family’s needs, your career demands, and your own well-being.

Instead of striving for an elusive, one-size-fits-all version of balance, focus on what feels right for you and your family in this season of life. Some weeks you may lean more into work, while other times you may prioritize family or self-care. What matters is that you’re intentional about how you spend your time and that you’re making choices that align with your values.

By embracing the idea that balance is fluid, you can release the guilt that comes from feeling like you’re not doing enough in one area or another. Trust that you’re doing your best and that it’s more than enough.

Final Thoughts

Mom guilt is a heavy burden, but it doesn’t have to define your experience of motherhood. By shifting your mindset—redefining what it means to be a good mom, prioritizing self-care, embracing help, practicing gratitude, and recognizing that balance looks different for everyone—you can free yourself from the guilt and create a more fulfilling, balanced life for both you and your family.

Remember, you’re doing an incredible job! Let go of the guilt and embrace the joy, love, and growth that come with this beautiful, challenging journey of motherhood!