My family is about to head off for a dream vacation to Jamaica! And while planning and anticipating this adventure has been super exciting, the impending reality of spending five whole days in relatively close quarters together has got me thinking about how to avoid unnecessary stress and conflict.

Here are a few things to consider as you prepare for a fun and exciting time together.

Setting Expectations

“Disappointment resides in the gap between expectations and reality.” ~ Tom Bodett

In the space between expectation (your vision of how something should be) and reality (what actually happens) lives disappointment. This disappointment can often manifest itself in stress, anxiety, anger, conflict…overall bad feelings, especially during your much-anticipated vacation that is supposed to be relaxing and fun. To avoid this, setting and communicating clear expectations from all family members is critical. Some general questions to consider:

• What is each family member looking forward to doing on vacation?

• What would make them call this the best vacation ever?

• How much time do they expect to spend all together?

• What will help them recharge their batteries?

• Is there anything they are particularly anxious about on this vacation?

Personal Time

Although this is a family vacation, it is perfectly reasonable for any one of us to want to have some time and space to ourselves. For example, I am a morning person (and the rest of my family is not), so I expect to get up and out in the early mornings while everyone else is still asleep to get some exercise, enjoy some coffee, read a book, meditate, or whatever else I need to “fill my cup” and be prepared for the day.  But if you are not a morning person, you can consider carving out an hour or two for an afternoon “siesta,” or decide as a family on a block of time each day where everyone gets a break and time to do their own thing. For those with smaller children, don’t forget to trade off responsibilities to give the other a break, too!

Financial and Budget Guidelines

Think about what you are, or are not, willing to spend money on. Our bank accounts take a major hit just booking the vacation—and all the various unplanned or unexpected expenses and requests once we are there can be an added source of stress. Talk about this with your partner or spouse, and communicate a plan to everyone impacted—ahead of time! Think bigger picture things, like dining and entertainment spending, but also consider things like giving the kids a small allowance for souvenirs or treats.

Digital Hurdles

While using this as a time to unplug is a good idea, it’s unrealistic to expect everyone to quit “cold turkey” on technology use just because you’re on vacation. BUT, it is a good idea to set some limits and basic expectations. A few suggestions:

• Turn off all notifications so you aren't interrupted or distracted.

• Schedule screen time (align it to each family member’s personal time).

• Make a rule: no screens at meals.

• Set up times your entire family will put the devices away.

• It’s also important to model this behavior and lead by example!

Physical Space

Our family of four has spent many a vacation crammed into a single hotel room with two beds (and one bathroom – a potential nightmare for those with teenagers!). Last year, we took a cruise and shared one cabin, with our son in a fold-out mini-sofa and daughter literally sleeping over our heads in a berth that pulled down from the ceiling. If you have had a similar experience, then you already know how important it will be to take that personal time mentioned above! But it also means that scheduling and navigating bathroom time—especially in the mornings when getting ready for the day, and evenings when for prepping for dinner or bedtime—is critical. Prepare ahead by creating a schedule, or even creating zones in the room, so each family member has adequate time and space to prepare. If your budget permits, consider getting a junior suite or adjoining rooms to give you more space, privacy, and bathrooms! (We are doing this for the first time this year—I expect it to be a game changer!)

The bottom line on all of this: communicate early, and communicate often. I strongly recommend holding a family meeting before your trip to talk through and align on all of these expectations—doing so can go a long way toward making your family vacation a memorable one, for all of the right reasons!