Hi, I’m Steph, and I’m a recovering perfectionist.

I have a vivid memory of my mom telling me I would never be perfect. I was 8 or 9 years old, standing outside the bathroom while she blow-dried her hair. “Nobody’s perfect. You will never be perfect.” I don’t know what I said or did to make her feel that she needed to say that, but the core memory imprinted indelibly in my brain.

Fast forward to middle school. I came home with a 98 on a test, proud and excited to show my dad. I was vibrating with anticipation as he quietly looked over my work. Then he looked up at me and deadpanned:

“Where are the other two points?”

I instantly deflated.

These two very opposite points of view set me on a path to the hyper-perfectionism of my young adulthood: trying like heck to prove my mother wrong…and constantly, desperately looking for those other two points.

To be fair, my mom was right. And my dad’s weird sense of humor was his love language. A bit misguided approach-wise on both counts, but their hearts were in the right place.

But where did my perfectionism get me?

• A tendency to quit—or not even bother to try—at the first sign that I wouldn’t do it “perfectly.” (I failed my very first class—physics, in college—by literally giving up when the going got tough.)

• Near-constant feelings of “not enough.” This manifested both internally as self-deprecating insecurity and externally as an insatiable need to chase the next accomplishment. (Both are equally exhausting.)

• Procrastination to the point where I’d have to pull all-nighters to finish a project, under the guise that I “worked best under pressure.” (Truth: I did not. And the crash that inevitably followed would be epic.)

• A (un)healthy fear of raising my hand, asking questions, or even asking for help. (Like that’s never backfired on me, right?)

• An innate desire to always be right…but when I was wrong, or if I “messed up,” no one could punish me harder than I did myself. (This caused a lot of difficulties in my relationships, natch.)

I could go on…but I think you get the picture. Eventually, I realized that whatever I was supposedly getting out of doing all these things, what I was really getting out of it was a whole lot of NOTHING. And maybe it was because I hit an age where I just didn’t have the energy to push anymore, but I also give big props to Brené Brown’s The Gifts of Imperfection for a huge, eye-opening “aha moment.”

Perfectionism often hides behind a well-intentioned desire to do things right. It can seem like a pursuit of excellence, but more often than not—as it happened for me—it leads to paralysis, burnout, and a constant feeling of inadequacy. If you find yourself stuck in the same endless cycle of redoing tasks, overthinking decisions, or hesitating to take action because you’re waiting for the “perfect” moment, then take it from me: it’s time to overcome that perfectionism.

These are a few ways that I learned to let go of my perfectionist tendencies—they could work for you, too!

1. Embrace Imperfection as Part of the Process

The first step to overcoming perfectionism is understanding that perfection is not only unattainable but also subjective. What may seem perfect to you could be seen differently by others. Real progress happens when we accept imperfection as part of the process.

Shifting your mindset from “perfect or nothing” to “progress over perfection” can free you from unnecessary pressure. Recognize that your work will evolve with time and experience, and it’s okay to produce something that’s good enough to move forward.

2. Set Realistic Goals

Perfectionists often set impossibly high standards that make tasks feel overwhelming. To counteract this, break down large projects into smaller, manageable tasks and set realistic deadlines for each one. Rather than aiming for an outcome that is flawless, aim for one that is complete and serves its purpose. (B-plus work is good enough!)

Start by asking yourself, “What is the minimum viable version of this task or project?” This helps you focus on what’s necessary, not what’s ideal. Perfectionism often makes us pile on extra tasks that aren’t essential, slowing down our progress.

3. Limit the Time You Spend on Tasks

When perfectionism is in control, tasks that should take an hour can stretch into days or weeks as you endlessly tweak and refine (if you’re a research nerd like me, check out Parkinson's Law—the old adage that work expands to fill the time allotted for its completion). A simple strategy to combat this is time-blocking. Give yourself a set (and limited…see above) amount of time to complete a task and stick to it, even if it’s not perfect by the end of the time limit.

Setting a time constraint can force you to focus on what matters and prevent you from getting lost in details that don’t significantly impact the result. Try using a timer or productivity apps that can help you track your time and keep you on task. (I talk more about time blocking in this blog post.)

4. Learn to Delegate

Perfectionists often struggle with delegation because they believe that no one can do the job as well as they can. However, delegating tasks is essential to freeing up time and energy for higher-level responsibilities. Understand that others might approach the task differently, but that doesn’t mean it won’t get done well.

Start small by delegating tasks that are time-consuming but don’t require your unique expertise. Over time, as you build trust in others’ abilities, it will become easier to let go of the need to control every aspect of a project. (For more on delegating, check out my blog post on the topic.)

5. Let Go of Fear

At the heart of perfectionism is often a fear of failure or criticism. It’s important to acknowledge this fear and challenge it. Ask yourself, “What’s the worst that can happen if this isn’t perfect?” Most of the time, the answer reveals that the consequences of imperfection are not nearly as dire as we imagine.

Accept that mistakes are a part of growth, and no one is expecting perfection from you. In fact, your willingness to be vulnerable and learn from mistakes can inspire others and create a healthier, more productive work environment.

Conclusion: Progress Over Perfection

Overcoming perfectionism doesn’t mean you should stop striving for excellence—I still do! Rather, it’s about recognizing when your pursuit of perfection is hindering your productivity and well-being. By embracing imperfection, setting realistic goals, limiting the time you spend on tasks, delegating, and letting go of fear, you’ll find that you can get more done and feel more satisfied with the results. Remember: Done is better than perfect. Keep moving forward! I’m right here with you, friend.