As working moms, we’re experts at juggling. We manage the school schedules, work deadlines, family meals, and household chores while trying to squeeze in personal time for ourselves. But no matter how hard we try, there’s always that voice in our heads telling us we should be doing more, especially when it comes to taking time for ourselves. The feeling of guilt creeps in, making us question if it's okay to step away from the demands of others, even for a moment of rest or enjoyment.

The truth is, we can't pour from an empty cup. Prioritizing personal time isn't just important—it’s necessary for our well-being, productivity, and overall happiness. If you’re struggling with the guilt of taking time for yourself, here’s how to change that mindset and make your personal time a priority without feeling selfish.

1. Shift Your Mindset: Self-Care Isn’t Selfish

We’re often taught that taking time for ourselves is selfish, especially as moms. We’re conditioned to think that everything we do should be in service of others—our kids, our partners, our work. This mindset can be detrimental to our mental health and productivity. (Read this for more on overcoming the “mom guilt.”)

The first step to overcoming guilt is to reframe how you view self-care. It’s not selfish—it’s essential. When you take care of your own needs, you’re better equipped to take care of those around you. Think of it like the airplane safety instructions: you put your own oxygen mask on first before helping others. If you’re running on empty, you won’t be able to give your best to anyone.

By embracing self-care as an act of self-respect rather than selfishness, you’ll start to see it as an investment in your overall well-being. (More on this in this blog post.)

2. Set Clear Boundaries

One of the key reasons we feel guilty about taking personal time is because our boundaries are either unclear or nonexistent. Without boundaries, it’s easy to feel like we need to be available for everyone at all times. To stop the guilt and start prioritizing yourself, you need to create clear boundaries for your time and energy.

Here’s how you can do that:

• Communicate with your family and colleagues: Let them know that your personal time is sacred. Whether it’s an hour a day for exercise, an evening of self-care, or a weekend hobby, make it clear that this time is non-negotiable.

• Schedule your time in advance: Treat your personal time like any other important meeting. Put it on your calendar, and don’t cancel unless it’s an emergency.

• Learn to say no: Saying no can be difficult, especially when it involves saying no to your kids or spouse. But saying no to others is saying yes to yourself. Start small by turning down requests that don’t align with your priorities. (For my four key questions to ask before saying “yes,” check out this blog post.)

When you have boundaries in place, you’ll feel less guilty because you’ve made a conscious decision to prioritize your well-being.

3. Recognize the Role of Rest in Your Productivity

Another reason we feel guilty about taking personal time is because we often view rest as a luxury, not a necessity. In a society that glorifies hustle culture, it can be hard to see rest as a productive activity. But the truth is, rest is just as important to your success as hard work.

When you prioritize rest, you’re allowing your mind and body to recharge, which helps you be more productive, focused, and creative when you return to your tasks. Whether it’s taking a nap, reading a book, or simply sitting in silence, giving yourself permission to rest will lead to greater energy and effectiveness in all areas of your life.

Tip: If you’re worried about taking time off from work or other obligations, remind yourself that the rest will actually make you more efficient. You’ll accomplish more in less time because you’ve allowed yourself to recharge.

4. Make It a Priority, Not an Afterthought

If you wait until all your “responsibilities” are taken care of before making time for yourself, it’s likely never going to happen. There will always be something else to do—a work project, a school event, or a household task. That’s why it’s important to make your personal time a priority, not an afterthought.

Treat your personal time the same way you would treat any important appointment. Set aside time for it and be intentional about following through. For example, if you enjoy yoga, commit to a class once a week. If reading is your escape, set aside 20 minutes a day to dive into a book. By scheduling these moments, you’re making your self-care a non-negotiable part of your routine. (For time blocking tips, read this.)

5. Stop the Comparison Game

It’s easy to feel guilty when you compare yourself to others. You might look at another mom who seems to have it all together, balancing her family, work, and self-care without breaking a sweat. But the reality is, everyone has their own struggles, and you never know what’s happening behind the scenes.

Instead of comparing yourself to others, focus on your own journey. Remind yourself that you don’t need to do everything perfectly. Embrace your own version of self-care, whatever that looks like for you.

Self-care is personal, and it’s unique to each individual. You don’t have to follow someone else’s routine to be successful in prioritizing your own well-being. Create a routine that works for you and don’t feel guilty about it.

6. Practice Mindfulness and Self-Compassion

Guilt often stems from a lack of self-compassion. We tend to be our harshest critics, and when we take time for ourselves, it’s easy to feel like we’re not doing enough for others. Practicing mindfulness and self-compassion can help you overcome these feelings.

Mindfulness involves being present in the moment without judgment. Instead of thinking about all the things you “should” be doing while you’re taking time for yourself, focus on the present moment and how you feel. Are you enjoying your time? Are you feeling relaxed? By practicing mindfulness, you’ll start to feel more at peace with your personal time.

Self-compassion means being kind to yourself, especially when you make mistakes or feel guilty. Instead of berating yourself for taking time off, recognize that you’re doing something positive for your health and happiness. Treat yourself with the same kindness that you would offer to a friend who needed a break.

7. Evaluate Your Personal Time with Purpose

Lastly, when you do take personal time, make sure it’s purposeful. It’s easy to waste precious “me-time” scrolling through social media or binge-watching shows. While these activities have their place, they don’t always leave us feeling fulfilled or recharged.

Instead, consider how you can spend your personal time in a way that nourishes you. This could mean spending time on a hobby, getting active, meditating, or catching up with friends. Prioritize activities that leave you feeling rejuvenated, empowered, and connected to yourself.

Learning to prioritize your personal time without feeling guilty takes practice, but it’s worth the effort. When you make yourself a priority, you’re not only benefiting yourself but also the people around you. You’ll have more energy, focus, and patience to give to your work, your family, and your community.

Remember, you deserve time for yourself. It’s not selfish—it’s essential for living a balanced, fulfilling life. So go ahead, take that break, and don’t feel guilty about it. You’ve earned it.